Walking With Mum and Dad.....100 days, Christmas and New Beginnings.(recipe: roast turkey)

Dad's 100th Day

Cliched,but time has really flown. On 1 January 2014, the family came together to remember Dad's passing. Dad had joined mum on 24 September 2013, 101 days after mum passed away on 16 June.  While we dearly miss Mum and Dad, having our traditional Christmas Dinner continued the warmth, fun and laughter we shared with Mum and Dad each Christmas. They must have been smiling as they watched their grandson, deprived of fast food, gorging on KFC (dad's favourite).

2009: Parents and I

We will remember fondly their sense of humour. Mum and Dad lived their lives well.

The hope is that we do too!

Dad's Favourite KFC Dinner with broccoli, brussels sprouts and roast potatoes

"Follow in the footsteps of your ancestors, for the mind is trained through knowledge. Behold, their words endure…..follow their wise counsel."
From "The Book of Kheti," Selections from the Husia: Sacred Wisdom of Ancient Egypt, selected and re translated by 

Maulana Karenga.
 

"I believe that our ancestors love and watch over us still, and want to be involved in our daily lives. Through the act of veneration, we give life back to those who gave us life, and the ones we still love beyond the body will live forever through our remembrance of them. In return, their wisdom and advice can greatly enrich our own spiritual growth before we join them in the Beautiful West."

http://www.senytmenu.org/ancestors.htm

Ancestral veneration in Chinese culture (Chinese: 敬祖; pinyin: jìngzǔ) is the practice of living family members who try to provide a deceased family member with continuous happiness and well-being in the afterlife. It is a way of continuing to show respect toward them, and it reinforces the unity of family and lineage. Showing respect to ancestors is an ideology deeply rooted in Chinese society. It is based on the idea of filial piety (孝, xiào) put forth by Confucius. Filial piety is the concept of remaining loyal to parents as their child. It is believed that despite the death of a loved one, the original relationship remains intact, and that the deceased possess more spiritual power than they did during life. In a sense, the ancestors became thought of as deities who had the ability to interact and have an effect on the lives of those still living.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancestor_veneration_in_China

Porcelain Doves given by my friend, Pat

The Dove is a picture of the Holy Spirit and the color white represents purity. The symbol of a Dove representing peace with God comes from the Genesis account where Noah sent out a Dove to see if the waters had gone down and it came back with an olive leaf.  The dove is usually associated with peace and faith and universally symbolizes innocence, gentleness, faith and marital affection. info from ask.com/wikipedia 

portraits in Kate's home

Remembering Mum & Dad. With grateful thanks to God for their 90 & 94 years of full & blessed lives. 
Our first Christmas without them.....kate

2013 A Year of Thanksgiving 

• For Mum and Dad a peaceful and blessed journey's end

• For the love and affection of family and friends

• For the gift of acceptance

     and

• For being able to say "I Love You" every night to Mum and Dad and to Mum as she took her last breaths

presents/mini tree on mum's day bed

2014 New Beginnings

To beautiful days ahead.

 With much love from all of us.

Happy 2014

Our Simple Christmas/New Year Meal 

Menu

DIY Roast Turkey

Pork/Chestnut Stuffing 

 Turkey Sausages w Caramelized Onions

Brussels Sprouts with Capsicum and Chestnuts

Buttered Broccoli

Roast Potatoes

Kentucky Fried Chicken

Fish Curry + French Bread
Gravy + Cranberry Sauce

KFC

Brussels Sprouts with Chestnuts+Capsicum

Rosemary Potatoes

Caramelised Onions/Sausages+ Pork/Chestnut Stuffing

Broccoli with garlic slivers

RECIPE from lil's kitchen

Roast Turkey

hmmm...somewhat blotchy but yummy roast turkey

The Turkey Tale

It was November and while prepping for Xmas I thought I should check my standing oven. I had not used it for the last 6 months. 

I turned the oven on, it blew a fuse. The Electrician came, checked the oven and said "Sorry ah cannot repair. This time really die already." Bummer! Fastest $40 in 30 seconds.

So off I went in search of a new oven. My new table top 60L Turbo-Rotisserie Oven, 26inches long was a Christmas gift from my sister and niece. The Sausage Pie baked nicely in its 18 inch long dish. But could the oven roast a small turkey? 

It could---provided the turkey weighed less than 5.5kg. 

Ingredients and Method

1. Rub thawed turkey (I bought a Butterball "moisture enhanced" turkey, 5.1kg) with a generous amount of salt --approximately 1.5 to 2 dessert spoons, inside and on the turkey*. By the way, if you buy a turkey after Christmas, there is normally a very good price discount!

2. Roughly chop 1 orange, 2 sticks of celery, 1 large onion, 1 green apple. Stuff the cavity and neck pouch and use tough toothpicks to seal. From my Food TV viewings (I only surf food channels!) I learned that a turkey filled with traditional sausage/carbohydrate type stuffing took much longer to cook as the cavity could not heat up as quickly. The veggies also kept the cavity moist as they steamed.

3. Soften 125gms butter and add 1 dessert spoon of Garlic Onion Spice Blend (The Gourmet Collection from Fair Price Finest, Singapore). The ingredients in the blend included garlic, onion, salt, soy bean, carrot, coriander, sugar, black pepper, red bell pepper, parsley, oregano, turmeric, cumin, sage and chives. Gently work the skin away from the meat and push the seasoned butter under the skin of the turkey breast and thighs.

4. Preheat the oven at 160C for 15 minutes.

5. Before putting the turkey in the oven, rub it liberally with butter. Place the turkey, breast side down (website info stated it made the juices flow into the breast) on a rack in a metal tray smaller than the one in the oven. This smaller tray held the turkey juices which was used to make gravy. Fill the oven tray with water. As it steams, the turkey will be bathed in the vapours.

6. Cooking Process For The Turkey

    9am   Place turkey  in 160C oven. Baste  every half hour and check the  

             water level  at the same time. The tray must not dry up.

   10am  Cover the whole turkey with foil

   12nn   Flip turkey onto its back.

     2pm  Raise Oven Temperature to 180C, remove the foil except for a small 

             piece to cover the breast if the turkey is very close to the heating 

             elements. Do not baste. This allows the skin to crisp up.  Watch the 

             turkey carefully as it browns.

     3pm  Place a knife through the inner thigh of the turkey. If the fluid runs 

             clear, the turkey's cooked. Remove from the oven and let rest for at 

             least 2-3 hours. This allows the juices, which had flowed out of the

             turkey while it was roasting, to return to the meat. This makes the

             turkey really tender and moist.

VERDICT: after 6 hours, the turkey was almost falling apart. Check out the blue ribbons on the turkey....camouflage. I didn't truss the legs so they were doing splits and left a gaping cavity when i removed the toothpick holding the skin together! Lesson learned. Truss the legs.

It was juicy and beautifully salted BUT *the drippings from the turkey were super salty. I had to add water to make the gravy which was delicious----from so much butter! More stock was made from boiling celery, carrot, onions + bay leaves. I added Bisto to thicken the gravy. I guess using cornflour will also work because the Bisto added more salt to the gravy. The turkey was too much for the family so some was packed for its next starring role in the Eurasian staple, Devil's Curry. Now that is another story!

Family, Friends and Food.....Meeting Moringa

I first posted this on my Facebook in April 2012. I've added more information and links.

11 April 2012: I brought home the Drumstick Veg for my sister to cook curry. My Filipino domestic help saw it and went “Malunggay”. A Pinnnnnnggggg went off in my head! I finally connected that the fruit (yes the drumstick is not a veg but the fruit) comes from “The Miracle Tree” Moringa Oleifera. Others refer to Moringa as horseradish tree, benzolive tree, kelor, marango, mlonge, moonga, nébéday, saijhan, sajna or Ben oil tree.

FRUIT (drumstick)

Fruit or what we commonly call Drumstick. Some health benefits taken off Moringa websites:
• 4 x more Vitamin A (beta-carotene) than carrots
• More Vitamin C than oranges
• More Calcium and 2x protein found in Milk
• More Potassium than Bananas
• 3 x more iron than Spinach
• Helps balance Cholesterol and Sugar levels
• Contains Zinc, Amino Acids
• Helps increase Immune System, Stimulates Cell Structure of the Body, Stimulate Metabolism and Digestive Powers
• Promotes well being and is a useful non sugar based energy
• Increases breast milk in mothers
• Anti Bacterial properties


 
LEAVES

The Indians have known the health benefits of the Moringa, locally called Murungakai in Tamil Nadu and Kerala, for a long time and there are recipes for the Leaves and Fruit on various websites. The Filipinos have a few dishes made with Moringa as do the Burmese, Thais, Indonesians and Malaysians who call it kelor.

 
Chinese-Peranakan Cuisine Cooks?
Still blur! So I went back to Little India last night (12 April) and bought extremely fresh leaves (seems they come from Malaysia) and the fruit (which comes from India).

In Singapore Moringa I believe can be bought mainly from Little India, Serangoon Road. A pity the local folks have yet to learn and reap the benefits of Moringa. Then I would just need to walk to my wet market whenever I fancied a pick me up!

It was great fun figuring out what to do with the Moringa especially the leaves. Here are some useful links:

http://www.moringatreeoflife.com/Recipes.html

http://chackoskitchen.com/2011/03/drumstick-and-raw-mango-sambar/

How much Moringa leaves should you eat?

• One half cup cooked leaves will meet your day's need for Vitamins A and C.
• One half cup pods, raw, will supply your Vitamin C need for the day

My Experiments

Pork Ball Soup

13 April: My very first Moringa Leaves Porkball Cauliflower Soup. The leaves were bland so didn't change the soup's taste. I did not over boil them and they remind me of kau keh veggy--the leaves of the wolfberry plant hence its reputation for being good for one's eyes. I think the leaves would work well in the Chinese 3 eggs (regular, salt and century)  dish we eat in the restaurants.
  

Drumstick Fish Curry

Sayur Lodeh

Omelette

 15 April: moringa-ed out at Dinner. We had the following: 
*Dish 1-Drumstick Fish Curry (Indian). Been a while since I cooked this curry. The drumstick was yums!
 
*Dish 2- Moringa Leaves Lemak ala Sayur Lodeh (Peranakan). Leaves perk the Lemak up.

* Dish 3 -Moringa Leaves Onion Omelette: can't really taste the leaves....like a regular omelette only packed with more vitamins.

Tinola Chicken

16 April: I finished the last bits of Moringa Leaves by cooking Tinola, a Filipino soup-based dish traditionally done with chicken, wedges of green papaya (here the papaya is beginning to ripen) and chilli pepper leaves (substituted with Moringa Leaves). The soup is flavoured with onions, garlic, ginger and fish sauce.

Pork Chop

18 April: found a final lot of moringa leaves hiding in the fridge. Boiled them at the last minute with the potatoes to keep the nutrients. Our dinner tonight--crumbed pork chop with baby spinach and cherry tomatoes.

moringa potato-fish crumble

19 April: Moringa fish crumble pie using the leftover mash from last night. Seabass fillet was seasoned with salt and pepper, pan fried and then mixed into the leftover mash. Just before grilling, crushed biscuits (crackers or marie) were sprinkled over lightly buttered mash and grilled till brown and crunchy.

Walking With Mum and Dad......sayonara dad.

10 August 1919 - 24 September 2013

mum must have been missing dad.

she decided 100 days were enough of a separation,

so she helped dad over the next day.

rest in peace and in each other's company.

thank you for giving us life and 

for showing us how to live.

till we meet again dearest mum and dad.

we love you.

23 May 1949 (Penang)

23 May 2012 (63 years)

The Foreign Talent:
Dad was born in Kuala Lumpur (KL), youngest of the Wongs, and attended Victoria Institution, "...the best school in KL but I wasn't very good in my studies except for Maths". His older brother was his Form Teacher.

He passed Senior Cambridge and started work as a clerk in the government service. He then became a technician in Telecoms-KL where he obtained his technical qualifications and later transferred to Singapore. Dad retired at 53 after working with Telecoms-Singapore for 29 years. He said he received a long service certificate.

The Whirlwind Romance:
Dad saw mum's photo in her cousin's home in Singapore and immediately wanted to correspond with her. He wrote about his life in Singapore including the food he ate, the work he did. 

On his first available leave, Dad took the train to Penang. On the ferry, he met Mum's Aunt (her father's sister...talk about fate!) and was invited to stay at her home instead of a hotel. It looked like it was love at first sight, or was it more because Mum was being courted by one of her brother's friends, that spurred Dad to ask my grandfather for mum's hand in marriage. Mum certainly was the risk taker seeing that she had move to Singapore. They married on 23 May 1949 after knowing each other for 6 months. Way to go!

Living With Lil:

In 2001, Dad and Mum moved into my home which Dad happily called his "5 star hotel, entertainment center and restaurant". The 5 star rapidly became a 2 star when he was given biscuits instead of some exotic cake at tea time. Dad had a hearty appetite and loved his food, especially KFC and always enjoyed the parties at my home.

Right till Christmas 2012, Dad was still playing Black Jack (I was caught out several times miscounting my cards!), watching Mr Bean (he could use the ipad) and enjoying his soy bean ice cream!

Dad was worldly wise with a wicked sense of humour, articulate (the nurses were amazed by the phrases he used during their conversations) and quite often needed to have the last word. He was a strong writer and I still have some of his beautifully written letters.

He was also somewhat cheeky and quite the Romeo. During our stay at the hospital, Dad had a gala time blowing kisses at his Consultant (a lady doctor) and the nurses. The last two weeks prior to his passing saw Dad in his element despite the discomfort from the daily drawing of blood---the poor dear was thoroughly bruised as his veins became thrombosed. 

Dad's body was beginning to break down. He had 2 mini heart attacks during his last hospital stay and the doctors said that his heart was beginning to fail. He was also being treated for pneumonia, possibly from silently aspirating as he was choking a little more often.

We came home from the hospital on 22nd September with Dad in good spirits, eating well and free from all tubes and needles (oxygen, urinary catheter and IV for hydration. We declined the Nasal Gastric Tube. However Dad was beginning to talk incessantly and loudly. He continued for the next day and a half. Dad was still cognizant when we woke him up on the 24th, although breathless for a little while. We brought him to the bathroom for his morning routine. Before we could begin, Dad passed away peacefully in my arms as he sat in his wheelchair, just 4 quiet last breadths.....no struggle, no pain. In the end, Dad was really blessed that his heart gave way. To have lived much, much longer meant the probability of a debilitating journey's end...the recent CT scan showed that dad's cancer (colorectal this time) had possibly returned.   

I did not tell Dad that Mum had passed away. In the hospital Dad asked "how's your mum?", I answered, "she's OK" and when he said "make sure you make your mother happy", I said "I will"....and that was the one time I had to look away. Dad, however seemed satisfied and never asked again.
 

Hospital Stays: 8 August - 22 September 2013. Celebrated 94th birthday.

Dad with helpers Tuti and Cecilia: 
on the right- at home having lunch (June 2013), on the left- top coming home in a cab in his urn (no more motion sickness as he was prone to have!!) and at the main gate. Bottom right Dad in his favourite recliner. Dad stayed with us for one night before his internment on 30 September at the Church of St Michael.

Mum's niche #0497, Dad's #0499

Dad and I (2007)

Some of Dad's favourite phrases:
"o what a wonderful morning, o what a wonderful day" as he wakes up;
"peepop, peepop grandpa's coming" when wheeled around the flat;
"miracle food", "so far so good","RELAX-relax!", "what is this, different taste" during his meals.
His daily mantra was "peace, harmony and goodwill prevail" and this was uttered firmly with closed eyes when he wanted to end a conversation. At night as he was wheeled to his bedroom, Dad would wish everyone 

 "selamat malam, selamat berjumpa lagi, sayonara" 

(good night, see you again, goodbye)

Yes dearest Dad, sayonara.

24 Jan 2013

All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed, at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, 
just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul 's Cathedral

22.03.1923-16.06.2013 oooooo 10.08.1919-24.09.2013

of dengue, a scar......and precious time

Preamble
May and June were disquieting months. In May, Kate had keyhole surgery to remove part of her sigmoid rectum colon which was cancerous. It was a relief to find out later that her lymph nodes were benign. Dengue put me in hospital on 25 May. 

While I was away, poor dad had to deal with contact dermatitis around his torso from a new washing detergent. Somehow that experience put him on another planet! Dad's 94. And then in June, mum joined me in hospital for her lung infection. In the meantime, Kate started to see spots in her right eye. She had gone for laser in March for a torn retina in her left eye.

In Kate's own words, " It is pouring!!" but I told Kate to just go with the flow of things. We did not know then that we were gaining strength for what was to come.

"The storms that threaten to destroy us,
 God will use to strengthen us". 

-The Daily Bread, 20 March 2013

The Dengue Trail
But first my Dance with Dengue. I thought it might be useful to document my experience. There are notes taken from http://www.webmd.com following my writeup.
 
tues 21 may
9pm: severe vomiting. Head spinning. Had to sit on the floor. Couldn't do mum's night feeds (mum was on nasal gastric tube feeding)

wed 22 may
whole day: best described as a sinking, lethargic tiredness. Couldn't really function. I remembered saying to everyone "I've never been so so tired in my life, not even after 3 sleepless nights looking after mum". I just lay on the opium bed, listless. Lost my appetite. Could only stomach ice cream and biscuits.

thurs 23 may
Intermittent low grade fever: 37.5C
Again I couldn't really eat. More ice cream.Tiredness went away.

fri 24 may
Intermittent low grade fever: 37.8C tops
Again lacked appetite. Started taking isotonic drinks (found out that was the best thing I could have done).
Lost 2kg in 3 days.
Niece and I discussed possibility of dengue. Figured it was ok to see the doctor the next day when I went to the market. (Could have been a disastrous judgement error!)

sat 25 may
10am: in between marketing, saw the doctor, took blood test for dengue.
730pm: doctor calls to say platelets have dropped to 112 (normal min 132) and to go to A&E to do a Full Blood Count seeing that it was the weekend.
I hesitated and said maybe tomorrow. My niece and sister said "No Way. Go Now".

EDTU bed space-private,cheerful

I went to A&E. Within half an hour I had gone through triage and was inside the holding room on a drip. Blood was taken and at 1030pm, the results came back. My platelets had dropped to 63. (Another warning: do not delay getting your blood test! Go to A&E if there's no alternative.)

I was transfered to the Extended Diagnostic Treatment Unit (EDTU) to wait out 24hours.

sun 26 may
My second blood test result came back. The cheeky ward doctor asked me to guess the number. I said 75, he said 23 and "up to the ward you go!" It was Dengue.

and the adventure begins

My friends (bless them for visiting and feeding me) and I joked about my prolonged stay in hospital.....that it was enforced rest for me. Going through my parent's Daily Bread Booklet, I found this somewhat apt quote:

"My Shepherd is the Lord who knows my needs 

and I am blest;

By quiet streams, in pastures green,
 He leads and makes me rest"

-Psalter 

not too many rashes

And I was really very lucky. My bout with dengue didn't run the gamut of dengue symptoms. My fever was low grade and except for the one night of head spinning vomiting and that one day of terrible lethargy, I didn't experience the headache, aches and obvious rashes which normally accompany dengue.
However, this may not have been a good thing because my platelets had dropped rather rapidly and without outward signs I could have been lulled to complacency, delaying diagnosis and IV hydration---and that could have been fatal. The lesson learnt: DO NOT DELAY

mon 27 may
Platelets stabilised at 22
Had an altercation with the Ward Consultant. This  Doctor with minimal bedside manners said I should go home when my platelets hit 30 because it was protocol. No explanation. Just protocol. Of course I hit the roof and said "No way. I am staying here until it reaches 100, protocol or not". I immediately went out to the reception area and said I wanted to change the consultant. As it transpired, it was consultant change day and I had a really nice lady doctor take over.

tue 28 may
platelets went up to 30. I was told in no uncertain terms COMPLETE REST IN BED. What? You may fall and have a stroke. OK! But back ache inducing it was to stay in bed. So I stayed in bed, but for only 1 day. I was also not allowed to move anywhere unaccompanied. Somewhat disconcerting having a shadow in the toilet!  Luckily my platelets started to climb. Phew!

infected IV canula site on Left Hand

wed 29 may
platelets :56
The site of my IV canula became infected and my adventure with surgery began. The Ward Doctor, a not terribly patient friendly lady, was going to send me home with Scar Tissue Cream. I showed the Consultant my hand and she instantly called in the Reconstructive Hand Surgery Consultant. He said it was  better to operate than try to get the bacteria out with oral anti-biotics because of my dengue bout and compromised platelet count. There was a strong chance the vein was infected and would eventually be taken out. The bacteria was Staphylococcus Aureus.

2pm that afternoon, I went for surgery under local anaesthetic. The wound was not stitched up as the surgeon needed to check in a couple of days if the bacteria had been removed. 

Question was---why did the IV site get infected? My body or the hospital? For 60 seconds I contemplated making it an issue but then decided I needed to heal, not introduce more toxins in my body!

thurs 30 may
platelets :108

fri 31 may
platelets : did not take blood for dengue.
Back to the Operating Theatre. The infection seemed to have spread as there was redness up 75% of my left forearm. I did not ,of course know, the surgeon had removed my vein but when I heard him say "culture the specimen", I knew the  vein was out!  And it was a 7.5cm long wound.

sat 1 june
platelets : 220  Green Light to Brush My Teeth....home free (from dengue i.e.)
                                                     
                                      

mon 3 june
Surgery to check if the wound was free from bacteria and to stitch it up. I had 14 stitches and trust me, while it was not terribly painful, it was no day at the beach either as i could feel the needle going in and out at certain points. I supposedly had local anaesthetic???


tues 4 june
Discharge Day

mum the piglet and me the rabbit in hospital together

BUT I didn't leave the hospital. Mum was admitted on 1 June and we were, for 3 days,neighbours in the same ward. Mum was discharged on 15 June. We went home in an ambulance. Around dusk, the next day, mum lost her battle with pneumonia.

In retrospect it wasn't about Dengue or the Scar. It was about the gift of time. 14 very precious days with mum. Continuously on oxygen, mum endured  many needle pricks for blood tests and IV antibiotics and somewhat strained and rapid breathing with the slightest exertion. Mum's quiet and dignified response to her situation was a beautiful lesson in acceptance and surrender. This helped my family members and I sadly but warmly embrace mum's death. 

DENGUE NOTES
Dengue fever is transmitted by the bite of an Aedes mosquito infected with a dengue virus. The mosquito becomes infected when it bites a person with dengue virus in their blood. It can’t be spread directly from one person to another person.

Symptoms of Dengue Fever

Symptoms, which usually begin four to six days after infection and last for up to 10 days, may include

• Sudden, high fever
• Severe headaches
• Pain behind the eyes
• Severe joint and muscle pain
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Skin rash, which appears three to four days after the onset of fever
• mild bleeding (such as a nose bleed, bleeding gums, or easy bruising)

Sometimes symptoms are mild and can be mistaken for those of the flu or another viral infection. Younger children and people who have never had the infection before tend to have milder cases than older children and adults. However, serious problems can develop. These include dengue hemorrhagic fever, a rare complication characterized by high fever, damage to lymph and blood vessels, bleeding from the nose and gums, enlargement of the liver, and failure of the circulatory system. The symptoms may progress to massive bleeding, shock, and death. This is called dengue shock syndrome (DSS).
People with weakened immune systems as well as those with a second or subsequent dengue infection are believed to be at greater risk for developing dengue hemorrhagic fever.

Diagnosing Dengue Fever

Doctors can diagnose dengue infection with a blood test to check for the virus or antibodies to it. If you become sick after traveling to a tropical area, let your doctor know. This will allow your doctor to evaluate the possibility that your symptoms were caused by a dengue infection.

Treatment for Dengue Fever

There is no specific medicine to treat dengue infection. If you think you may have dengue fever, you should use pain relievers with acetaminophen and avoid medicines with aspirin, which could worsen bleeding. You should also rest, drink plenty of fluids, and see your doctor. If you start to feel worse in the first 24 hours after your fever goes down, you should get to a hospital immediately to be checked for complications.

Preventing Dengue Fever

There is no vaccine to prevent dengue fever. The best way to prevent the disease is to prevent bites by infected mosquitoes, particularly if you are living in or traveling to a tropical area. This involves protecting yourself and making efforts to keep the mosquito population down.
To protect yourself:

• Stay away from heavily populated residential areas, if possible.
• Use mosquito repellents, even indoors.
• When outdoors, wear long-sleeved shirts and long pants tucked into socks.
• When indoors, use air conditioning if available.
• Make sure window and door screens are secure and free of holes. If sleeping areas are not screened or air conditioned, use mosquito nets.
• If you have symptoms of dengue, speak to your doctor.

Walking with Mum and Dad....good bye mum, till we meet again.

Mum passed away peacefully on
 16 June 2013, aged 90.       

We are ever so grateful to you mum, for bringing us up and showing us what kindness and graciousness

 meant.           

I am especially proud to have been given the gift of journeying with mum through her dementia and her lung disease.

We love you and will miss you terribly.

                                                                            

Mum spent her young adult years (especially World War II) in the Chief Clerk's (my grandfather) Bungalow on the sprawling grounds of Mercherson Estate (a rubber plantation), Pondok Tanjong. 

Mum often reminded us how they would pluck durians (and the unfortunate incident of a pole falling onto 5th Uncle and hurting his face) and eat the bbqed flying foxes caught by her brothers. (This I can confirm as I still remember the screams of the bats on my few visits to the estate). 

The family home (where the school going children stayed with my tua ee) was in Penang--18 Krian Road (it has been converted to a restaurant). My grand parents moved to 8 Green Road 4 after my grandfather retired.

maybe late teens on the left and early 20s on the right

                                                   
The quintessential multi-tasker, mum was a

• superb cook,
• kueh (cake) maker (best angku in the whole of Singapore!!),
• great seamstress with a wonderrful eye for colour and details (kate and I always had beautifully tailored/lace/embroidered matching dresses)  

 

me in Penang, probably 2 years old

• kasut manek beader (how she used to sit by the natural light of the kitchen in the family flat in Jalan Bahagia and worked on the masterpieces)

In addition she could knit, crochet, play tennis and badminton. Reminded us proudly that she was the reigning Ladies Badminton Champion of Telecoms Quarters!

A housewife, mum ran our household efficiently. As we grew up, she found the time to volunteer at the catholic church of Saint Vincent De Paul and later at Saint Michael Church where her weekly contribution of nonya kueh for the canteen sold out like hot cakes! At the Church of St. Vincent's she showed the young girls how to cook and she also kept the accounts for the projects she undertook.

When mum and dad moved into my home in 2001, mum was the "permaisuri" (queen).

mum and her kueh jong kong

We indulged her sweet tooth--she used to woof down her kueh jonkong (a peranakan dessert) in 40 seconds flat compared to the 30 minutes it took for her to finish her main meal. On the rare occasions when we went to the market, mum showed us she hadn't lost her  shopaholic skills.

Up till 2009, mum used to tinkle, albeit 1 finger only, on the piano, pull a few song bars on the accordian and puff and pant "bengawan solo", "rasa sayang" on the harmonica. She was also the live spark singing her heart out with my friends at my dinner parties.

In the last few years, mum's ability to swallow had progressively deteriorated. On 31st January 2013, a NG (nasal gastric) tube was inserted to help mum eat. Mum tolerated the NG tube really well including having her hands in special mittens most of the time. 

on weighing chair in the hospital with nurses

Mum had also lost a lot of weight in the last 3 years. When we weighed mum at the hospital in June 2013, she was only 36kg....we weren't terribly sure if this was accurate as mum seemed to have put on weight---her face was fuller.

I often wondered what mum was thinking as she sat in her wheelchair. She was responsive, and appeared to understand what we asked of her or tell her to do.  There were times however, when the window closed.

kate with mum who seemed to be saying "don't disturb me"!

Our goal was to live life as normally as possible for mum and for ourselves. And we did, until mum, frail and tired from having to deal with her lung fibrosis (diagnosed almost 8 years ago) wasn't able to shake off the infection which she caught two weeks prior to her death and the eventual pneumonia.

Mum had a beautiful death. While she was on oxygen and was given a small dose of morphine as she struggled to breathe, towards the end, my niece (Jac), sister (Kate) and I were with mum as she quietly took her last four breaths and slept forever.

A loss is always personal but as we watched mum take her last breaths, there was a peaceful calm in the bedroom. We knew that we were going to lose mum at some point, didn't think that it would be one day after we returned from the hospital, but I believe the time we had to say our personal goodbyes helped tremendously. 

There is a reason for every season and on hindsight I should have understood mum was ready to go. Mum and I spent 2 weeks in hospital before she passed away and one night, 1 week before her passing, while I was quietly asking mum if everything was all right, she opened her eyes wide, looked straight at me and said very clearly and coherently "You are my daughter, Lillian". These were to be mum's last words. 

While we miss mum very much, we rejoice that she was blessed to have lived such a long and fulfilling life. We celebrate her kindness, generosity of spirit, steadfastness, humility and most of all her great capacity to love.

xmas 2012

Mum taught us patience and acceptance of where she was towards the end of her life. Her calm, cool and collected spirit, sense of humour and peace with God and herself showed on her radiant and beautiful face. 

 

Thank you dearest mum for letting me look after you the last 12 years. Till We Meet Again.

fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow, but remember me in every tomorrow.

remember the joy, the laughter, the smile.

i’ve only gone to rest a little while.

although my leaving causes pain and grief, my going has eased my hurt and given me relief.

so dry your eyes and remember me, not as i am now, but as i used to be.

because i will remember you all and look on with a smile.

understand in your hearts, i’ve only gone to rest a little while.

as long as i have the love of each of you, i can live my life in the hearts of all of you

-unknown

Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life. In the Lord's own house shall I dwell for ever and ever.   Psalm 23