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| 10 August 1919 - 24 September 2013 |
mum must have been missing dad.
she decided 100 days were enough of a separation,
so she helped dad over the next day.
rest in peace and in each other's company.
thank you for giving us life and
for showing us how to live.
till we meet again dearest mum and dad.
we love you.
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| 23 May 1949 (Penang) |
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| 23 May 2012 (63 years) |
Dad was born in Kuala Lumpur (KL), youngest of the Wongs, and attended Victoria Institution, "...the best school in KL but I wasn't very good in my studies except for Maths". His older brother was his Form Teacher.
He passed Senior Cambridge and started work as a clerk in the government service. He then became a technician in Telecoms-KL where he obtained his technical qualifications and later transferred to Singapore. Dad retired at 53 after working with Telecoms-Singapore for 29 years. He said he received a long service certificate.
The Whirlwind Romance:
Dad saw mum's photo in her cousin's home in Singapore and immediately wanted to correspond with her. He wrote about his life in Singapore including the food he ate, the work he did.
On his first available leave, Dad took the train to Penang. On the ferry, he met Mum's Aunt (her father's sister...talk about fate!) and was invited to stay at her home instead of a hotel. It looked like it was love at first sight, or was it more because Mum was being courted by one of her brother's friends, that spurred Dad to ask my grandfather for mum's hand in marriage. Mum certainly was the risk taker seeing that she had move to Singapore. They married on 23 May 1949 after knowing each other for 6 months. Way to go!
Living With Lil:
In 2001, Dad and Mum moved into my home which Dad happily called his "5 star hotel,
entertainment center and restaurant". The 5 star rapidly became a 2 star when he was given biscuits instead of some exotic cake at tea time. Dad had a hearty appetite and loved his food, especially KFC and always enjoyed the parties at my home.
Right till Christmas 2012, Dad was still playing Black Jack (I was caught out several times miscounting my cards!), watching Mr Bean (he could use the ipad) and enjoying his soy bean ice cream!
Dad was worldly wise with a wicked sense of humour, articulate (the nurses were amazed by the phrases he used during their conversations) and quite often needed to have the last word. He was a strong writer and I still have some of his beautifully written letters.
He was also somewhat cheeky and quite the Romeo. During our stay at the hospital, Dad had a gala time blowing kisses at his Consultant (a lady doctor) and the nurses. The last two weeks prior to his passing saw Dad in his element despite the discomfort from the daily drawing of blood---the poor dear was thoroughly bruised as his veins became thrombosed.
Dad's body was beginning to break down. He had 2 mini heart attacks during his last hospital stay and the doctors said that his heart was beginning to fail. He was also being treated for pneumonia, possibly from silently aspirating as he was choking a little more often.
We came home from the hospital on 22nd September with Dad in good spirits, eating well and free from all tubes and needles (oxygen, urinary catheter and IV for hydration. We declined the Nasal Gastric Tube. However Dad was beginning to talk incessantly and loudly. He continued for the next day and a half. Dad was still cognizant when we woke him up on the 24th, although breathless for a little while. We brought him to the bathroom for his morning routine. Before we could begin, Dad passed away peacefully in my arms as he sat in his wheelchair, just 4 quiet last breadths.....no struggle, no pain. In the end, Dad was really blessed that his heart gave way. To have lived much, much longer meant the probability of a debilitating journey's end...the recent CT scan showed that dad's cancer (colorectal this time) had possibly returned.
I did not tell Dad that Mum had passed away. In the hospital Dad asked "how's your mum?", I answered, "she's OK" and when he said "make sure you make your mother happy", I said "I will"....and that was the one time I had to look away. Dad, however seemed satisfied and never asked again.
Dad with helpers Tuti and Cecilia:
on the right- at home having lunch (June 2013), on the left- top coming home in a cab in his urn (no more motion sickness as he was prone to have!!) and at the main gate. Bottom right Dad in his favourite recliner. Dad stayed with us for one night before his internment on 30 September at the Church of St Michael.
Right till Christmas 2012, Dad was still playing Black Jack (I was caught out several times miscounting my cards!), watching Mr Bean (he could use the ipad) and enjoying his soy bean ice cream!
Dad was worldly wise with a wicked sense of humour, articulate (the nurses were amazed by the phrases he used during their conversations) and quite often needed to have the last word. He was a strong writer and I still have some of his beautifully written letters.
He was also somewhat cheeky and quite the Romeo. During our stay at the hospital, Dad had a gala time blowing kisses at his Consultant (a lady doctor) and the nurses. The last two weeks prior to his passing saw Dad in his element despite the discomfort from the daily drawing of blood---the poor dear was thoroughly bruised as his veins became thrombosed.
Dad's body was beginning to break down. He had 2 mini heart attacks during his last hospital stay and the doctors said that his heart was beginning to fail. He was also being treated for pneumonia, possibly from silently aspirating as he was choking a little more often.
We came home from the hospital on 22nd September with Dad in good spirits, eating well and free from all tubes and needles (oxygen, urinary catheter and IV for hydration. We declined the Nasal Gastric Tube. However Dad was beginning to talk incessantly and loudly. He continued for the next day and a half. Dad was still cognizant when we woke him up on the 24th, although breathless for a little while. We brought him to the bathroom for his morning routine. Before we could begin, Dad passed away peacefully in my arms as he sat in his wheelchair, just 4 quiet last breadths.....no struggle, no pain. In the end, Dad was really blessed that his heart gave way. To have lived much, much longer meant the probability of a debilitating journey's end...the recent CT scan showed that dad's cancer (colorectal this time) had possibly returned.
I did not tell Dad that Mum had passed away. In the hospital Dad asked "how's your mum?", I answered, "she's OK" and when he said "make sure you make your mother happy", I said "I will"....and that was the one time I had to look away. Dad, however seemed satisfied and never asked again.
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| Hospital Stays: 8 August - 22 September 2013. Celebrated 94th birthday. |
on the right- at home having lunch (June 2013), on the left- top coming home in a cab in his urn (no more motion sickness as he was prone to have!!) and at the main gate. Bottom right Dad in his favourite recliner. Dad stayed with us for one night before his internment on 30 September at the Church of St Michael.
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| Mum's niche #0497, Dad's #0499 |
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| Dad and I (2007) |
"o what a wonderful morning, o what a wonderful day" as he wakes up;
"peepop, peepop grandpa's coming" when wheeled around the flat;
"miracle food", "so far so good","RELAX-relax!", "what is this, different taste" during his meals.
His daily mantra was "peace, harmony and goodwill prevail" and this was uttered firmly with closed eyes when he wanted to end a conversation. At night as he was wheeled to his bedroom, Dad would wish everyone
"selamat malam, selamat berjumpa lagi, sayonara"
(good night, see you again, goodbye)
Yes dearest Dad, sayonara.
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| 24 Jan 2013 |
All
Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed, at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul 's Cathedral
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed, at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul 's Cathedral
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| 22.03.1923-16.06.2013 oooooo 10.08.1919-24.09.2013 |
